Horror Stories from the Set

This article was originally published in the November 2006 issue of XBiz Video Magazine, but not before some controversy.

Then- editor Matt O’Connor had assigned me the story. “I want funny, gross things that happen on-set,” he said.

“Well, what do you consider funny and gross?”

“Oh, you know, farting, accidents with sex toys, stuff like that,” he replied.

So, ever the dutiful reporter, I got out my list of contacts and started calling around to get “Horror Stories from the Set.”

I knew that Rob Spallone would be a live wire; he tells the best stories. And likewise with Cousin Stevie, who is a very down-to-earth guy. Robby D had to think about it for a minute, but then came up with some amusing anecdotes. And Tina Tyler and Tianna Lynn both gave a uniquely female perspective on the strange things that can happen when working on a hardcore set. As always, everyone I spoke to was very nice and willing to share their experiences.

When I turned in the story, I got a panicked phone call from Matt.

“I’m gonna have to give you a kill fee! I can’t run this story,” he says. “It’s too gross!”

“Well, you said you wanted gross,” I replied. “I mean, what did you want?”

“I don’t know – farting incidents or whatever.”

And I’m thinking, well, people fart on sets everyday – but that doesn’t make a memorable story.

You may have the same reaction as Matt did and find the contents of this article a little hard to take.

But it’s all in a day’s work for people in the adult film industry. When you’re having sex on-camera (or off), sometimes gross, crazy things happen; but try and imagine what kind of stories and jokes you would hear at a gynecologists’ convention.

Sex, like any bodily function, can be messy and awkward. Performers have to accept that as part of the job; they’re like athletes and often called upon to do things that push their physical and mental limits. So, they develop a sort of gallows’ humor and openness that can be very funny.

This story shows that it’s not just a job, it’s an adventure. It was finally published after Matt left his position as editor. Perhaps it was this piece that pushed him over the edge.

From alarmingly anal antics to cat-fighting cast, or unintentionally doing a Mike Tyson on a female performer’s labia – the “behind-the-scenes” footage you see in most DVDs doesn’t begin to describe what can go wacko on the set of a porno production.

“I’ve been in this for seven years and you become jaded,” says Robby D, director for Digital Playground. “There’s nothing that’ll happen on a set that I’m not prepared for.”

Including hungry crew members digging into a cake with extra-special “icing,” unaware it’s been used as a prop for a masturbation scene. Or taking a big hit of water out of a red plastic cup that’s just been used as a “dick wash.”

Stuff like that happens all the time, according to Robby. One memorable episode involved his favorite sex toy prop; a set of pink plastic anal beads.

Scott Nails and Latin performer Carmen were shooting a blowjob scene, using the beads to great effect.

“He’s pulling them out one at a time because it looks hot coming out of the butt like that,” says Robby. “And the little cord snaps.”

With one ball hanging, “we kind of panic and he grabs the ball, trying to act calm on-camera and keep it normal. He pulls on that and then that snaps.

“Now, the camera’s off and there’s like a quarter inch of plastic cord hanging out of this girl’s butt with these two big balls inside her. We’re trying to hold on to this little cord covered in lube and it’s slipping up her butt further and further.”

Eventually, Carmen managed to eliminate the problem herself, but says Robby, “It was one of my favorite toys and I won’t use them again because I’m just fearful of having to explain that to some doctor, you know?”

Rob Spallone, owner of Star World Productions, has been ringmaster on many a set-gone-wrong. He’s seen it all; from Bigfoot-like body odor to having to hire a guy off the local lunch wagon to finish a facial pop shot.

“I’ll tell you the best all-time story, ever,” says Spallone with his straight-out-of- Jersey accent. Shooting a boy/girl scene on the kitchen set of his studio, “it’s the last scene of the day, about ten o’clock and I want to go home.

“Now back then, the break down was ten minutes of pussy-eating, ten minutes of blowjob, 12 to 14 minutes of sex in three different positions and that made the scene.

“After 25 minutes, I come out of the office to see how far they got. He has her up on the sink with about eight people standing there and they’re still on eating pussy.

“So, I say, ‘Guys! What’re you doing? I wanna go home! Let’s go!"

“All of a sudden, the guy goes to rip her G-string off with his teeth. He misses and bites off a piece of her pussy lip. Blood is squirting out like a vein and she’s hysterical.

“I’m screaming at this kid to go to the RiteAid and get some peroxide. It was fucking crazy. And you know how the sink has two sections? He spit the piece into the other sink. You could hear it plop and the cameraman shot it. We couldn’t use the footage, but we had it.”

“I said to him, ‘Let’s do the blowjob scene now and we’ll let her bite your dick off!’ It was crazy that night,” says Spallone, who decided it best to finish the shoot on another day.

Sometimes, performers are expected to go above and beyond reasonable limits.

Tina Tyler , director at Mercenary Pictures and former performer, recalled a director that attempted to save a few bucks on a mile-high budget.

After performing a scene in a small Cessna with her then-husband Tony Tadeschi, Tyler was approached by the director while they were still in the air.

“He says to me, ‘Once you’re finished cleaning up, you don’t mind going up in the cockpit, right?’

“And I asked, ‘Why would I want to go in the cockpit?’

‘Well, I promised the pilot he could get a blowjob if he gave me a deal on the plane…’

“So, I said, “Well, then you better get your knee pads out, because you’re the one that made the promise!’”

Tyler says the pilot later charged an even larger fee after realizing the deal had not been negotiated pre take-off.

Other performers push themselves beyond their limits. Tiana Lynn, national sales director for Elegant Angel and former performer remembers an incident when she was new to the business.

“I was doing this birth control. It’s like a wax suppository that melts inside of you,” says Lynn. “I was doing a scene and ended up using too many, I think, and wound up in the hospital with a second degree burn. I don’t know if it was from the friction or a chemical burn.”

“They’re the most horrible thing to have sex with,” she adds, “especially on-camera. The wax starts to come out and I know the viewer is like, ‘What is coming out of her?’”

But the real meltdowns happen when super-diva personalities clash on-set, as described by director/producer Cousin Stevie, from his “Pussy Party # 11 : Ho’ Down” where this cat fight can be seen in behind-the-scenes extras.

Actresses Ava Vincent and Dillan Lauren arrived on-set, throwing attitude at each other over a previous incident involving some stolen clothing.

“There was just general animosity between the two of them,” says Stevie. “Cursing back and forth, yelling, and then one of the girls threw a burrito at the other one.”

The situation escalated, until a can of Rock Star energy drink hit Lauren in the back.

“So, Dillan got really pissed,” says Stevie. “She grabbed Ava by the back of the head and smacked her head into the refrigerator – Bam! She did it a couple of times and then threw her to the ground.

“Because the camera was down the hallway, all you see are feet going behind the wall. Then, you come around the corner – and now, Ava is coming down with her elbow like a WWF move, right into Dillan’s face. Then, April (Storm) broke it up, thank God.”

With the mayhem unleashed, “some of the girls sided with one girl, some with the other. But if my ‘Pussy Party’ doesn’t come off as a fun, happy movie, it’s not going to work,” says Stevie.

“So, April, my production manager and I got on the phone. We begged and we scrounged and got eight new girls. We didn’t get finished until two in the morning, but I have to give it to everyone there that made it a successful movie.

“After I saw it,” Stevie sighs, “then it was funny. But that night and that day, there was nothing funny about it.”